walking down the street that we grew up in

It's midnight and I should be sleeping.But this is where I am right now. I suddenly feel like writing and i feel like i want to be honest,blunt and unrestricted in this post this time around. I realized something last night, i wrote it down in my diary. I wasted three years hoping someone would love me back. When in the end I know he won't. Not now, not then, never in the future. All the tears, the heartbreak, the ache, it all came to this day. It took me this long to realize the obvious truth drawn out in front of me. This year was the worst for me. I never had this much ache, wishful thinking, tears come down my face just for a guy. Never this much. And yesterday I told myself that this is it. I can't go on living this way anymore. It hurt my pride,my ego to let myself want someone so bad. I've never felt that bad before. I also broke a heart that didn't deserve to be broken, and I am very sorry to him. The other side in me still wanted the one thing I knew I can't have. I was wrong, with every single thought I had. Everything. I was wrong. I was wrong to have hoped so much from a man when I know he doesn't even care. I hope I learn my lesson this time around.